My name is Lauren Ashlynn Cowell, I was born June 23, 1995 in San Francisco California. I have two older brothers Named Eric Simon Cowell and James Micheal Cowell. My parents move to L.A. right after I was born, and when I was two my parents got a divorce. Leaving all of us with my mother, as my father moved back to London. As you know I have a close relationship with my dad, I didn't see him as much as I should have growing up, but I did see him. Anyway my dad moved back to the States when I was six for American Idol. Then I got to see him everyday after I finished homeschool. Which was horrible. Anyway when I was twelve I got my recorded deal, and things seemed to be turning around, my parents were back together and everything went perfect.
I have to say my father was a bit angry when I didn't use my last name when I became famous, but it was one of those things. I didn't want people to know who I was. I wanted to make my own name, and my own name was Lauren Ashlynn, and I was going to find my own place in this world. I did after many sold out tours and long plane rides across the glob. I found out my place was to be a singer. That was my things. I don't think my dad really ever did understand, but he supported me. My dad has supported my love for music every since I can remember. My mom and dad had the biggest impact on my life. They are truly the first idols I really had.
Four Years Later.
I will be honest when XFactor time came around, I honestly couldn't stand to be in the house. My dad was so stressed out about ratings and stuff, he barely stopped yelling to pay me or my mom any attention once so ever. I honestly didn't see how she could put up with it. I tried to stay in the studio as much as possible. I even remembered moving in with my older brother Eric. Who just bough at house, James and I stayed over there a lot. Yet sadly I still had to come home, I had to finish up my home schooling before I could go on tour. I wasn't missing that chance to get away from my family.
Don't get me wrong, I love my family to death, it just at the time, everything seemed to be so dramatic and I couldn't deal with that. You aren't the child of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul, you wouldn't understand half the things I had to tell you.
Tour went well and I stayed gone until December, I got home the the day before Christmas eve, I was honestly shocked when my dad told me he wanted me to preform on XFactor. I acutally DVRD the show so I would watch it in my spare time. I like any other fan had my favorites and I was beyond happy to play. I played the song "Black Keys" I wrote for my ex boyfriend Rupert Grint, who I just ended things with before I started tour. I played the song on piano, and I got amazing feedback from everyone watching. I looked down at my parents who were hugging. I met my mother's eyes and she was crying. I guess she could feel the emotion in that song I wrote, the song I just sung. The song I chose. I sang that song because I wanted to show the world a different side of me. Pop music wasn't my thing, my thing was real music that was close to me. I also thought of my parents when I chose the song, the song is about fighting and how it hurts to see people do it, and go through it yourself. That's why I sang it.
It wasn't long after I went backstage and my mother ran to hug me. I hugged her back as I smiled. I missed my mother honestly, and I was happy to see her. After that I went to an interview with Letterman and I talked about how I learned to play Piano when I was five and how my grandmother thought me. How I bought a house in London so I can visit my dad's side of the family more often
My dad was in a great mood conceding Melanie just won, so he took all of out for dinner. Mom,Eric,James and myself. We went to the fancy restaurant, and to my surprise things seemed really good with my parents. So good it kind of hit my off guard when my dad told me what was happening next. My dad started off with the fact he was glad I was back from tour, and he missed me and my brother James who is my drummer terribly. Then he said how him and mum were doing well, and he wanted more for us as a family. I looked at Eric who smiled at me, none of us really believed my dad. My dad says all the time "things were going to change" yet some how when he says that they just fall apart.
Then my dad looked at me and said "Guys I'm serious, I love your mother very much... And were getting married again"
I wasn't surprised when Eric passed out, I felt like the life was just sucked out of me, I couldn't breath, but somehow I manged to help my mom on the ground with Eric who was unconscious. I didn't know if Eric was happy shocked or bad Shocked. I guess time would tell.
Being honest Eric wasn't dad biggest fan. Eric never really had a good relationship with dad, ever since dad walked out on us when I was two. Eric had to be the man of the house, and he took his anger against dad, he never really forgave him. I don't know if he ever will..
I remember Eric' waking up in the hospital he looked like a sad kid who just got told they couldn't have something they want at the store. Eric wasn't one to show emotion he was alot like my father. So When it came a time you saw Eric upset.. It was pretty bad. "I love how he didn't tell us sooner" Eric said. His words were ice cold like his once chocolate brown eyes, they looked as if hell just froze over in them. I couldn't say I didn't agree with Eric. I mean after all this time?
"mum, shouldn't have let him back in her life" Eric spat looking against the wall.
"She blamed herself when you fainted" I said in a low voice looking to the ground.
Eric put his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. Eric wasn't just my brother, Eric was really the full father figure I didn't have. You could say, he was more of my father than Simon could have ever been.
One Year Later
I remember singing at my parents wedding like it was nothing. I replied to "SAULA" tweets all day off my Iphone. It was just one of those days that seemed like a fairy tale, it seemed almost unreal after all these years, they know deiced they want to remarry. I didn't let anger harden my spirit thought. I did my best to enjoy myself which I did. I guess only time will tell in the end, but for right now. I'm gonna enjoy the time with my family. Time with my real family, the time I never had as a child. Time I will never gain back. I guess right here, and right now, is where I'm suppose to be. I will live in this moment, until it leaves once again. Nothing but memories and broken hearts, and that is the path I hope I will never seek again.
No comments:
Post a Comment