Stay

A song I wrote

Stay

Vs1: So this is where the story ends. Us screaming and yelling for nothing. If I could, I would lay it all down..

Because I know, this road, ends no where at all..

But I know you gave me a thosand chances, and I let them burn. I let you walk that night..

Pre chorus: Now, looking back, I know I was wrong. But I wasted all my chances.

Because I said I was sorry, so many worthless times before, but now I mean it

Everyday, I still wish you were here..

Chours: But if I could, I would have layed down my by pride and walk away that night. If I could I would have never started that fight, if I could turn back time

I would just admit I was wrong. Because I always think about what could of been. oh oh

if I could, I'd go back in time, and save us..

Vs2: I know everything happens for a reason, but you gave me so many chances, and all I did was let you down.

You told me that it was all you, but I know, I still should have turned around.

I shouldn't have let you walk away, when my heart is now paying the price..

Prechours: I never forget everything you said, I remeber all the words of anger and hate from that night.

I remeber watching you drive away, and I broke down as your tail lights faded

But if I could turn back time, I would ran after you that night

Chours: I would have layed down my pride, and walked away from the fight. I would have fought to keep us alive.

But I was a stupid little girl, who wanted to fight to win, but in the end I lost everything. Because when you walked away..

All It did was rain.

Bridge: And I would give up everything to feel your touch again, I would gave everything for you to still believe in me.

I know I'm to blame this time, and I will never forget how I left your heart out in the rain.

But if I could turn back time, I would make you stay..

I wouldn't be sitting here, wishing that you were beside me, I would be there with you, like we were that night

I'd lay my amuor down, and just walk away, because I know. That would save us. Oh that would save us

yeah yeah yeah

I learned my lesson this time. Oh I learned my lesson.

I was touched and burned, and now I'm paying the price... The rain begans to fall down, as you drive away. I get in the car and drive after you..

Because maybe, just maybe, you will stay this time..

Set Fire To The Rain

Everything You ever told me was a lie. I know I was foolish, for loving a man, not even a man, a boy at the age of fifty one Who told me I was pretty, but in the end I felt pretty messed up, pretty much done, but I was to weak to look him in the eyes. Because Would fall much harder than I already was. My mind was full of hate, and my heart still pretty much broken. As the tears fell down my face, I let the anger take over, and remind me to never let him hurt me again. I set fire to the rain, that was my world. I let it burn as my heart was screaming out your name. I would never come crawling back to you. Because everything you said, was for your fun and games, and I won't be used anymore.. Because every time we played, I would lose, and my heart would be the one broken, but I'm taking a stand and I won't be the loser anymore.

I pull myself together, as I walk outside, and try not to see your face, I let it go, and remind myself that I'm stronger than this, but my heart is screaming out your name. I pull my phone out and our picture still lies on my screen. I couldn't delete it, it was all I had left of you. Because it would be a while, before you came crawling back around here, asking me why I was doing this. But I will set fire to the rain, and It will burn me bad when I touch your face. Because I know I would be crying because it will hurt to see you back at my door, when my heart is screaming out your name. I will have to push you away.

I let it go, as I breath, as my make my way to Starbucks, I get my coffee and sit down by the fire. The flashbacks comes as I close my eyes

Flashback

"Pawla, I want you to come on vacation with me?" Simon said smiling. I was hard to say know when he was smiling his wonderful smile at me like that. "Fine, but I can't stay long" I said, trying not to give in easy. He put his coffee down, and gently, brushed his lips agiasn't mine. At that moment I didn't care if we were in public, I wanted more from him. I gently kissed him on the lips, as I pray no one had just seen. I wasn't sure if our relationship was ready to be known to the public yet.

"Why, don't we finish this at home" He smiled, before helping me out of the sofa, as we walked out into his car and headed back home.. We made love that day, for the second time. Everything was just perfect. If someone told me it wasn't real, I wouldn't believe them..

End of Flashback

Things were simple then, I think he might of still cared, that was before Megan, before he brought her into this. Sure we were still friends, but it was choice. If we weren't co-workers, I probably would never speak to Simon again. He broke me heart, but I would admit I missed him. He was my best friend, we did basically everything together. Even before we dated, we had a super close friendship, and I couldn't blame him for leaving me for someone younger, but I just thought he was different. I felt the tears appear back in my eyes. I took my coffee and got up and walked out before I ran straight into a man..

"I'm so sorry" I said, as I looked up, my guilt went away, I looked up to a pair of Chocolate brown eyes. Simon's eyes. I felt awkward just standing there, but I set that fire to the rain, as I pushed passed him and walked away. I let it burn, as I cried. When I heard him screaming out my name

"Pawla, Paula, wait?" He said running to catch up with me. I stopped as I looked into his eyes, I tried to be stronger than this, because I hated him seeing me this weak. "What, Simon? What do you possibly want." I said in a bitter tone. He looked me in the eyes, before looking down. "I broke up with her" He said. I reached out to touch his face, part of me didn't feel sorry for him, but my heart did. "I'm sorry" I said. I didn't know what else to say.. Things between us, weren't good, and if he wanted me to take him back he was wrong.

"I miss you, Paula, I love you" He said. I automatically lost all of the sadness in my body as I looked him the eyes., "You obviously don't miss me to much Simon, you lied to me, cheated on me, and treated me like shit. I miss you too, but it's not worth it. Were friends and that's all were going to be" I said as I jerked away from his grip as I got back into the car.

I let the tears come over me as I drove out of that parking lot and went back home. I set fire to the rain, which was my world, and now both of our hearts would pay.

It Will Rain

There was something about the rain, began to hit my window. It made me feel comfortable to sit and cry. I didn't feel comfterable talking to others about this. I mean people said they were sorry, but they didn't understand how close we were.

I honestly could look back on all the fun times we had, and cheerish then, but part of me couldn't help regret I didn't tell him how I felt.

If I could turn back time, I would prove to him I loved him. I think he might knew it deep down, but I couldn't stand the thought of him not loving me back.

So I keep it to myself, yet when something like this happens no ones prepared. To lose their best friend,their brother, my soulmate. The one that's knows you better than you know yourself.

When things started out, I didn't think things would work between us. He was an egomanic without a heart, and I was the giving one, that mothered all the kid's.

As time goes by, I realized how much he loved me. He brought a show to the U.S. just for me.

I whipped my tears away, as I layed on his side of the bed. When he was gone, I would do this, but this time he wouldn't be coming home on that plane from London. I had to remind myself, that this wasn't just a nightmare. I wouldn't wake up to Simon telling me it was okay.

I would close my eyes and wake up to this. I know it wasn't healthy, but I needed to see him.

I grabbed my coat as I went outside to get in the car, the bitter cold L.A. wind hit me in the face as I got into my BMW. I started the car and headed for Simon's grave.

When I arrived there, I did my best to not look that I been crying. I know he hated it when I cried, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stay strong when everything I ever wanted was gone.

I kneeled down besides his grave stone, as I put my hand to where I thought his heart was. I felt the tears coming back into my carmel brown eyes. This time I just let the come. "Simon, it's only been a week, and I'm back here. It's funny isn't it. How we think the ones we love the most will never leave us. You don't deserve to be here Simon. That guy should be here, but we change the past. I miss you so much.. I need you Simon, but I know your in a better place now, but I will never forget you. I will love you for the rest of my life" I said as tears came over me once more. I whipped the tears off my face, as I felt the wind hit me hard once again.

I looked up to the sky, as it began to rain. I ran back into my car, and broke down crying. It would always feel this way now that he is gone, but I swear as soon as I drove out of that grave yard I heard him say. "Paula, let me go" I whipped away my tears, and drove back home. To an empty house in The Hills, made for two.

How To Save A Life

Step one, you say, ?We need to talk?

He walks, you say, ?Sit down, it’s just a talk?

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

“Paula, I honestly don’t understand why this is such a big deal?” I ask following her out in the parking lot. I could feel the anger rising off of her, as she darted her caramel brown eyes, glared into my chocolate brown ones. “Because, Alex, deserves better. We gotta go” Paula said, putting Alexander in his car seat before getting into the driver’s seat of her BWM. “Paula, will I see you at home?” I ask.

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came

She looked at me before starting her car. I know that wasn’t a good sign. I watched her drive away Part of me wishing, I didn’t make her that mad, and part of me, wanting to drive after her, but that would only make it worse.. I let her go, as I went back inside to my office, to file work..

One Hour Later

My anger now subsided, as I thought, I should probably check on Paula and Alex, before I had time to pick up my phone. It began ringing with an unknown number. “Simon Cowell” I said answering my phone. “Mr. Cowell, I have some shocking news” a man’s voice said. Fear began to take over me, as I tried to not fear for the worse. “Yes?” I asked. The man paused before saying what he needed to say. “Sir, your wife has been in a horrible car accident. And she’s in the hospital” The man said. My heart began to pound. I felt like a part of me just died. Paula was in the hospital, and it was my fault. My world just turned upside down, at the moment, I didn’t know if I wanted to cry, or scream in anger. “How’s my son?” I ask in a low voice. Trying to contain my composure

.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

“Your son is fine Mr. Cowell, the driver hit your wife’s side of the car. He’s staying with your mother- in law at the moment” the man said. I felt the tears began to form in my eyes. “Thank you, I will be right there” I said. I put my phone down as the tears began to stream down my face. Simon Cowell didn’t cry, but he did for his family. Paula might been gone, and it was all my fault. I quickly grabbed my phone and rushed out of the office. I started my car as fast as I could, and drove to the hospital.

Let him know that you know best

?Cause after all, you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

I couldn’t help watching the flashbacks pass my mind. Of why this happened.

“Simon, I don’t want to move, To London, I think it will be better for Alex, if we stay here.” Paula said. I couldn’t believe she was denying this. I wanted to move out of California, so our son could leave a normal life, that he wouldn’t be over well med with the cameras, and the life of a celebrity child. I wanted a normal life for him, and she didn’t want that. ”Paula, I don’t want everyone to know who our child is. I want him to have a normal life, like you did growing up.” I said. My life was far from normal growing up. “What was so bad about your life Simon? I think he can handle that, Besides my family is here.” She said.

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you’ve told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

And pray to God he hears you

The rest of that fight, just was beyond stupid. If everything went well. We would stay in L.A. and raise our son. I rushed into the hospital, as I went back into the E.R. Lorraine was already there with Alexander in her arms. She looked up at me and smiled a weak smile. I could tell she had been crying, her eyes looked weak. ”How is she?” I asked in a low voice. Lorraine got up and handed Alex over to me before looking me in the eyes and giving me a straight forward answer. “She’s not to good Simon” She said. I felt the tears burning in my eyes, as I kissed my son’s head. I automatically wished I was as innocent as Alex at the moment. Our poor son, had no idea what was going on. I wish I was that ignorant at the moment. I wish everything just seemed to be alright, but it wasn’t Paula, could die, and it was my fault! I ruffled my son’s jet black hair, before handing him over to his grandmother!

And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

I walked into Paula’s room. She looked as if she was asleep. Her eyes were closed, and stained blood was all over her beautiful face. The rest of her body looked pretty much okay. I walked over and sat down beside her as I grabbed her tiny hand and brushed my lips against it. “I’m s-o-r-r-y” I chocked out before I began to cry once again. I felt like my world was crashing around me, and there was no one to hear me scream, “I’m dying!”

As he begins to raise his voice

You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road

Or break with the ones you’ve followed

“I love you Paula, and We will won’t move, just please come back to me. We all need you, I can’t live. w-i-t-h-o-u-t- you” I said. I just couldn’t deal with it. As much as I wanted to be here. My heart couldn’t take it. I kissed Paula, lightly on the lips before walking out the door. I sat down beside Lorraine, as I put my head in my hands, as the tears began to come once more. ”She loves you Simon” Lorraine said smiling at me. I whipped my tears away as I smiled. “I know, I love her too” I smiled up at her, trying not to cry.

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he’ll say he’s just not the same

And you’ll begin to wonder why you came

“I know you do” She smiled. I would love to tell my mother in law why I can’t be in there, but I would feel like she wouldn’t understand. I don’t think anyone but Paula, would ever understand our relationship. It was just something explainable yet, that’s what love is. ”Thank God Alex was okay” I thought to myself, I couldn’t lose anymore..

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

“How long has she been out?” I asked looking at Lorraine. ”She hasn’t been up, since she’s been here” Lorraine said. I once again forced myself to look away from my mother in law. My heart couldn’t possible take it. I couldn’t look in her eyes, Paula’s eyes, and be okay with myself. “Mr. Cowell” a doctor said. I automatically looked up as the man said my name. “Yes?” I asked. “your wife wants to see you” he said. I automatically jumped up as I almost ran into Paula’s room. Her caramel brown eyes were still close, but now a smile was on her face. ”Simon, I’m sorry” She said in a low voice.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t let you go. I love you Paula” I said as I kissed her lightly on the lips. She smiled at me before laying her head on my sholder.

“The last thing I remember, is Alex crying, and all I could think about, was I wanna see Simon, one last time, just to tell him I’m sorry” She said as the tears began to form in her eyes. I pressed my lips against hers as I kissed her passionately . She was alive, and my world was right once again, and all was forgiven.

How to save a life

How to save a life

Fantasy Isn't Real? Or Is it..

Chapter one!

Paula looked at herself in the mirror, she put her hands on her swollen abdomen. Her twin’s were getting big. She smiled at thought of twins. Paula was already a mother of two handsome boy’s, by the names of Eric, and Mitchell. Eric was the oldest and he was four, and Mitchell was three.

“Mommy, when’s daddy coming home?” Eric ask, breaking the silence that was around Paula. She looked down into her son’s chocolate brown eyes, Simon’s eyes.

“I don’t know sweetie, but he will be home soon. Now go run off and play with Mitch” Paula smiled looking down at her son. Her son looked up at her, and she could automatically tell something was wrong. “Mum, daddy hasn’t been home in almost two days!” He said. Paula could see the tears coming in his eyes, as she held her arms out for him to climb into. “Daddy’s, just busy with work. He will come home. I promise, your daddy loves you. He would do anything to be home with us.” I said smiling. I saw Eric smile, as he looked up at me. “I know, mum.” Eric smiled. He wrapped his tiny arm’s around Paula’s neck before running out of the room.

It didn’t really hit her hard into now, what her son said. Simon, had been gone for a while now.. She was begging to worry about him, but for the sake of her unborn children, she decided, that worrying wasn’t the best bet..

“Mum, Eric stole my Leggo’s” Mitchell said running into the room. I shook my head as I walked over to my son.

“Tell him, I said to give them back” I said.

Mitchell ran back downstairs as I walked downstairs with him, watching my boy’s play. Wishing their father would hurry home…

Four hours later.

It was now time to tuck the boy’s in, I couldn’t explain how worried I was about Simon at that moment.. He has been officially gone for two day’s now. I couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. ”Mum, is daddy gonna be home to tuck us in?” Eric said. I shrugged my shoulders as I followed my son into his room. I kissed his forehead before ruffling his raven black hair. “I love you Eric, and so does your dad. Goodnight” I said before slowly walking out of the room. I walked into the room next door to see Mitchell already asleep. I gently kissed the top of his head. As I walked into my bedroom. I gently feel on the bed, as I picked up my blackberry to call Simon’s phone. It automatically went to voice mail.. I tried not to panic.. “Simon, wouldn’t leave us.. I told myself, I beleived that, but that’s not what I was fearing..

I rubbed my swollen abdomen as I felt the twins kick, I couldn’t fight the tears coming in my eyes now. I grabbed Simon’s t-shirt that laid on the bed as I held onto it, as I cried myself to sleep….

It was 1:00Am and I heard a crash from downstairs. My motherly instincts kick in, as I thought one of my boy’s could be hurt. I automatically went into both of their rooms, to find them sound asleep. At that moment, I thought of Simon. I ran downstairs as I turned on the light. Our huge walk in area. “Simon” I said in a low whisper. I looked into the living room to find a huge dog sitting on my sofa. I automatically panicked when he looked up at me. ”how did you get in?” I asked looking at the dog. The dog walked closer towards me as I backed up. I had three dogs of my own, but this didn’t even look like a dog, he was very large and his fur was Raven black. I didn’t know at that moment if I should run or take the dog outside, But I ran, I ran into our spare bedroom down stairs, as fast as I could. I didn’t want to lead that animal to my children.. I heard the steps come closer as the dog once again found me..

“Please, don’t hurt me. I have a family” I said clutching my abdomen and wishing automatically it was Simon instead of that dog who was starring at me right now. “Your not gonna hurt me are you?” I asked looking in the dog’s eyes, those eyes were familiar, I saw them everyday. Those eyes were the eyes of Eric, and Simon. “This can’t be happening” I sad as I sat on the guest bed. The dog just looked up at me, like he understood. I wasn't a little girl anymore I didn't believe in fantasy stories. This was just a horrible weird dream, and I would wake up and Simon would be home. I closed my eyes and open them again, to see the dog still staring at me.. How was this even possible? How could this dog be…I automatically disliked that dog their. He reminded me constaly that Simon, was gone, and that dog’s eyes didn’t help. “Look, I don’t know what you are, but you got to go.. I don’t want you to be a risk to my family” I said. The dog rubbed its head against my leg affectionately. I guess it was then i realized, fantasy could be real. I bend down as best as I could as I wrapped my arms around that dog. As weird as it sounded hugging that dog, made me feel whole again, something only Simon could do..

“Why didn't you call me?” I asked looking down into the dog’s eyes. The dog’s eyes looked down away from me.. I knew he couldn't talk, but still. I wanted to know. I pushed myself up, as I walked upstairs into my bedroom, the dog following not to far behind me. “Si, I don’t want you going near the kid’s until everything is normal” I said in a low voice. I hated keeping him away from them, but for right now it was best..

For right now I seemed beyond mad, because my life was a fantasy tale? I was one of those strange girls, who know was married to a wolf? What was this coming too..

I climbed into bed as I felt Simon climbing in beside me. He rested his head on his pillow. I wrapped my arms his furry animal form. It made me feel better knowing he was here. I closed my eyes and sleep over came me. Hopefully waking up to a normal life, and some well needed answers.

Lie to me

Lie To me (1 shot)

This is a Saula fan fiction purely fan made. I own nothing but my ideas.

L.M.T.

I felt the warm sunlight hit my body, I knew it was time to awake and greet the day. I turned to my side and saw him laying there. I would be lying to myself by saying he didn’t look really good right now, because he did. The way his chest moved when he sleep, the look on his face was so peaceful. Everything about him was just breathtaking. It was truly tragic I had to awake him. I gently bent down to touch his lips. I gently brushed mine against his as his dark chocolate brown eyes quickly looked up into mine.

“morning handsome” I smiled. He looked up at me before smiling. “How long have you been watching me?” He asked hiding back a grin. I smiled, before answering. “not very long, now you have a flight to be getting on Mister” I said playfully. If it was up to me, Simon would stay here all day and never leave, but that wasn’t my choice, it was just one my heart had to accept. “I don’t wanna leave you, Pawla” he said looking up at me. I pasted on a smile, trying to convince him, I would be fine with him gone. “I will be fine, have fun, and tell your mum I said hello” I smiled.

He smiled before gently cupping my face into his hands, before kissing me lightly on the lips. “I love you” He whispered as his hot breath meet my lips, before he got up and got dressed. “What time do you have to be in London?” I ask, just trying to start conversation. He looks over at me before replying. “By twelve thirty, and Paula, don’t bring up these conversations. I know you don’t want me to go, as much as I don’t wanna be going.” I tried to debate against him, but once again Simon was right. ”I just want you to have a good time, and try not to worry about me, that’s all..” I said. Simon walked backed over to me, and sat back down on the bed. “I will always worry about you Paula, you can’t change that, but I will try and have a good time for you.” He smiled.

I smiled knowing he truly meet that. ”Call me when you get there” I smiled. Simon nodded his head, I know he would, I just needed him to say it again before he left. I know as soon as I walked Simon out of our house he was gone, I wasn't going with him to the airport, because it felt like too much. I felt like my heart was shattering as I watched him walk down the stairs. I followed what seemed like three inches behind him. I forced myself to look up at him, as he was standing at the door. “Oh please smile for me Pawla, I will be back before you know it, and I wanna remember you as happy.” He said. “Sorry, bye Si, have a safe flight” I said running into his arms, I felt like a little child doing this, saying goodbye to the parent’s before work, but I didn't really care, Simon knew me better than anyone, and I felt completely comfortable with him.

”I will call you when I land. bye love” He whispered before walking out the door. I lied to myself right then when I told him I would be okay, I lied to myself when I didn't say I love you back. I guess he should have just lied to me and said he would have been back tomorrow when I wake up. Because either way, my heart wouldn't make it very long.. I felt the tears burning in my caramel eyes, Before I ran outside. “Simon wait..” I yelled. I saw him quickly turn around as his eyes meet mine.. “I love you” I said, as the tears came streaming down my face. I saw him fight the urge to come and hold me, as he smiled. He got in the car, and drove out of the driveway. Leaving me there watching him go, and taking my heart down the driveway, on that plane to London.

The Drew, That went away

I knew, as soon as I sent Drew, home Simon wouldn't be talking to me. I walked as quickly as I could backstage to try and find him. I was refusing to do any interviews until things between us were okay. "Where is he" I thought to myself.

I walked into his dressing room, as I knocked on the door. With no reply I deiced to go in. He was sitting on his sofa. His face turned away from me. As his eyes were glazed onto the brown carpet below him. "Si, you okay?" I asked. Not moving from where I was standing. I know he was upset, so for my best intrance it was better to stay put. "Paula, I don't wanna talk to you. Go away" He said still not meeting my gaze. "Simon, I'm sorry, what else do you want me to say." I said in a voice stronger, than what I thought I had. He still didn't move, but I could feel the anger pouring off of him. "There is nothing, you can say Paula, just go home. I don't think I will be following you tonight." He said in a scary tone. "The baby, doesn't like it when your screaming at me like that!" I said before walking out of the room. I felt the tears burning in my caramel brown eyes. How stupid I was for even going in there. I didn't regretting sending Drew home, I just regret caring about him as much as I did.

I walked pretty quickly to the parking lot, as I shut the car door. As the tears burned down my eyes. I quickly tried to whip them away. The sound of the car's engine rang loud in my ears. But something pulled me back. I looked out the window and Saw Simon running towards my car. I thought to myself, "this better be good" as I rolled my window down. "Paula, we need to talk" He said looking into my eyes. "We did talk Simon, you made that clear.. You didn't care" I said as more tears came into my eyes. "love, I never said that. I love you and our baby, more than anything. I'm just upset that's all, please sweetheart, get out of the car" he said in sincer tone. He opened the door as I got out. Even in heels I stood a little bit shorter than Simon, as I looked into his dark Chocolate brown eyes. "I love you" I said as I buried my head into his chest and began to cry. I felt him wrap his arms around me as he kissed my hairline. I felt so weak, but yet so protected when he held me like this. Like nothing in the world could hurt me. "I love you too, and I'm sorry" He said as he pulled away from me. I whipped the tears out of my eyes, before looking up at him. "Sorry, for crying" I said. He just smiled as he cupped my face in his hands. We kissed with so much passion, I felt like I was going to fall, before he put his hand on my back, and held me up. I know if the paps saw this, it would be all over every tobloid.

We finally stopped for air as our eyes met, one more time. "Are you coming back home?" I asked as I looked up at him. "I will be home, in a few mins, wait up for me" He whispered, as he opened the car door for me to get in. "& you wounder How This happened. I said putting my hand on my swollen stomach." I smiled, as I started the car Once More. "Drive safe" he said. I cracked the car, and drove away, but as I stopped at the red light, I could still see him watching me in the distance.