Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Set Fire To The Rain

Everything You ever told me was a lie. I know I was foolish, for loving a man, not even a man, a boy at the age of fifty one Who told me I was pretty, but in the end I felt pretty messed up, pretty much done, but I was to weak to look him in the eyes. Because Would fall much harder than I already was. My mind was full of hate, and my heart still pretty much broken. As the tears fell down my face, I let the anger take over, and remind me to never let him hurt me again. I set fire to the rain, that was my world. I let it burn as my heart was screaming out your name. I would never come crawling back to you. Because everything you said, was for your fun and games, and I won't be used anymore.. Because every time we played, I would lose, and my heart would be the one broken, but I'm taking a stand and I won't be the loser anymore.

I pull myself together, as I walk outside, and try not to see your face, I let it go, and remind myself that I'm stronger than this, but my heart is screaming out your name. I pull my phone out and our picture still lies on my screen. I couldn't delete it, it was all I had left of you. Because it would be a while, before you came crawling back around here, asking me why I was doing this. But I will set fire to the rain, and It will burn me bad when I touch your face. Because I know I would be crying because it will hurt to see you back at my door, when my heart is screaming out your name. I will have to push you away.

I let it go, as I breath, as my make my way to Starbucks, I get my coffee and sit down by the fire. The flashbacks comes as I close my eyes


Flashback

"Pawla, I want you to come on vacation with me?" Simon said smiling. I was hard to say know when he was smiling his wonderful smile at me like that. "Fine, but I can't stay long" I said, trying not to give in easy. He put his coffee down, and gently, brushed his lips agiasn't mine. At that moment I didn't care if we were in public, I wanted more from him. I gently kissed him on the lips, as I pray no one had just seen. I wasn't sure if our relationship was ready to be known to the public yet.

"Why, don't we finish this at home" He smiled, before helping me out of the sofa, as we walked out into his car and headed back home.. We made love that day, for the second time. Everything was just perfect. If someone told me it wasn't real, I wouldn't believe them..

End of Flashback

Things were simple then, I think he might of still cared, that was before Megan, before he brought her into this. Sure we were still friends, but it was choice. If we weren't co-workers, I probably would never speak to Simon again. He broke me heart, but I would admit I missed him. He was my best friend, we did basically everything together. Even before we dated, we had a super close friendship, and I couldn't blame him for leaving me for someone younger, but I just thought he was different. I felt the tears appear back in my eyes. I took my coffee and got up and walked out before I ran straight into a man..

"I'm so sorry" I said, as I looked up, my guilt went away, I looked up to a pair of Chocolate brown eyes. Simon's eyes. I felt awkward just standing there, but I set that fire to the rain, as I pushed passed him and walked away. I let it burn, as I cried. When I heard him screaming out my name

"Pawla, Paula, wait?" He said running to catch up with me. I stopped as I looked into his eyes, I tried to be stronger than this, because I hated him seeing me this weak. "What, Simon? What do you possibly want." I said in a bitter tone. He looked me in the eyes, before looking down. "I broke up with her" He said. I reached out to touch his face, part of me didn't feel sorry for him, but my heart did. "I'm sorry" I said. I didn't know what else to say.. Things between us, weren't good, and if he wanted me to take him back he was wrong.
"I miss you, Paula, I love you" He said. I automatically lost all of the sadness in my body as I looked him the eyes., "You obviously don't miss me to much Simon, you lied to me, cheated on me, and treated me like shit. I miss you too, but it's not worth it. Were friends and that's all were going to be" I said as I jerked away from his grip as I got back into the car.

I let the tears come over me as I drove out of that parking lot and went back home. I set fire to the rain, which was my world, and now both of our hearts would pay.


2 comments:

  1. love it but i would like them to be together

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